Infinite Journey

Infinite Journey

------------------------

Infinite journey I do, in this world of seemingly mortal,

I am here right from beginning of the creation, not exactly when.

I have been in different forms, all through this long journey,

And the whole world’s material is nothing but manifestation of me.

I am in each & every minuscule in this universe of immense expanse,

My presence is everywhere, and I am truly an immortal.

Whatever we see or feel are all imbibed in me,

I am the embodiment who carries the whole cosmos in me.

I am everywhere always and my parts have deep relations,

Nothing is foreign though may be distant, but original stuff is one only.

So much inter-connection is available; there is question of no separateness,

and my spread is through the stars, galaxies and deep black holes.

I am dying with stars and taking births with new ones,

I am nothing but always regenerating in all the forms coming.

So many forms, so much expanse & vividity, question is how to manage?

All is in atoms of mind & body, and their constant transformation into new ones.

All are entering into me from far distance & near, and rejuvenate me,

And I am always freshened with new materials constituting me.

I want to venture bodily & intellectually in vast realms of this existence,

And I want to imbibe that expanse, and that is the real journey.

How far mind can go, that is the test of my coming here?

Experience of existence is the real thing and perhaps life also.

I am of the same sub-atomic particles, of this cosmos is built,

Atoms are inner small worlds like star systems and constantly in motion.

Whether we feel or not, there is nothing away from me,

That firm bond with the world imparts constancy to me.

But how can I describe this relation with seemingly other entities,

And how can I feel that intactness, which of course is mine only?

Is that only sameness of atoms which being similar is attached to me,

Or many other forms also and what carries that bond between?

I am composed of same world elements which exist outside also,

They always detach from me and passing in other forms always.

We eat fruits from trees, and vegetables & grains from plants,

We inhale different gases continuously changing into other forms.

All are transformed in us and we build us for some time,

And this new materials come & replace the existing ones.

Similarly what I exit, mixes with other stuff present,

And slowly becomes their part & convert into life-forms.

The whole world is revolving and many cycles work at a time,

We are constantly influenced by others always and influence them also.

We are the same waves which reverberate with same force from back,

And knowingly – unknowingly behave in a particular way, in accordance of acts applied.

My journey in all-round me is happening all the times,

And I am trying to realize that ecstasy in me.

I want to roam in fields available but not opened to me,

And build slowly my awakening that I have deep relations.

Pawan Kumar,
27th December, 2014 Time 16:00

(From My Dairy dated 29^th August’2014 Time 08:45 AM)

O Man

O Man
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O Man, spare some energy for mankind

They are your co-journey persons and need your help.

O Man, you are deluged in own fantasies & dream world

Take out some time to see the ground realities.

O Man, they are co-brethren and live in penury

Develop some establishments, they can also find employment.

O Man, you are surrounded by experts, claiming to know something

Your men are illiterate, show some light to them also.

You are housed in comforts & luxuries dreamt by many

Create some conditions so that all can live with honour.

You are man of freedom of ideas & interact with finest books

Your men are just sandwiched in superstitions & a fixed mind.

You are an exploring mind to the extent possible & take out best

Their capabilities remain fixated & no way seen to use much mind.

You are trained in best schools, colleges with very good teachers

They are forced in schools without rooms, toilets & even teachers.

You are given all required infrastructure for development of self

They have meagre tools, no know-how / prescription & hence half-concepts.

You roam in world with best transport means & staying facilities

They remain closeted in villages, small towns, slums & don’t see much world.

You interact with many persons & have opportunities to learn 

They remain fixed with few people & bigger world not much opened to them.

O Man, your job is mainly to brood & direct the attached ones

They are mere labourers just obeying orders of higher ones.

You work in cosy, lighted rooms & much available on just desire

They are just like beasts of burden & fatigued like always seen.

O Man, you do not go to people and ask their how-about

This is not a fair approach as not-letting communication.

All people have right to develop self, so conditions need be created

Absence causes many lives half-filled & not seeing full light.

The best medicines, care is available and you live generally long

They are weak, gazing despairingly & don't get enough calories.

You can preserve, rear children in good way & live life of affluence

They don't have much to leave; children follow same & thus miserable lives.

You can think & strategize best due to benefits of training & education

They are poor designers of lives and generally fail in pursuits.

You are able to influence worthy ones & take decisions as required

They don't have approach such and romp just from pillars to posts.

O Man, share some to reduce gaps created artificially due to selfishness

You can modify social ways by thinking & actions.

Remember they have also showered their little boons for your happiness

Now your duty is to pay back a little, with all due sincerity & honesty.

Pawan Kumar,

6^th December’2014, Saturday 12:06 Noon

(From Mahendergarh Dairy dated 21^st November’2014, 8:50 AM)

A Little Craving

A Little Craving

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Deep stillness of my mind

I crave in the deep of my heart.

Where everything elopes in the one

And merges in identity of the Almighty.

Where all my happiness, agonies become alike

Where everything finds space in the calm ambiance.

When the cool, placid shadow of great tree

Shall try to take every one in its bosom.

When deep consciousness is there and I forget everything

When the Almighty himself is ready to embrace me.

The moments such I crave the most

And take the vastness of sky in my palm.

When I become ‘HE’ and He becomes me

There is no one but only me and He.

I shall think then goal of my life is accomplished

And the rest has come after long-long journey.

When the thinking takes me to ecstasy

When I find myself satisfied with my performance.

When my standards are consistently improved

When I am almost near to that ‘Ideal’ one.

When my mind takes me to depths of contemplation

When this pen starts writing the most beautiful mind.

When my strong craving is towards the higher ones

When I find self sitting in the feet of Buddha one.

When I stop babbling the unnecessary words

When I am able to fulfill my commitments.

When I become the trustworthy

And honesty, trustfulness and devotion imbibe in me.

I don’t want to be called as the inferior one

But if I am so today then shall not remain tomorrow.

I shall try to be really a gem

Whom the wise ones may probably recognize.

When I become part of the whole humanity

When all specks of universe become me.

Then no one is foreign and I am international

When all cosmic energy becomes part of me.

My words shall be today more articulate and meaningful

My life shall today be more lively and worthy.

My levels shall certainly improve today

And the richness of life shall amuse me.

I shall make my working atmosphere more placid today

Where work flow only be permitted to sound sweetly.

Where everybody realizes his responsibilities

And we become more duty-bound & disciplined.

Pawan Kumar,

15^th November’2014 Time 17:01

(From my Shillong dairy 17^th January’2001 Time 9:25 AM)

One More Awakening

One More Awakening

-----------------------------

With my closed eyes, I want to see the world

With my lame legs, I want to cross the world.

With my closed ears, I want to hear the world

With my closed temptations, I want to sense the world.

I am the one who has opened his eyes already

That sight is enough if I have power to grasp.

With my ears I have heard enough already

That listening is enough if I have power to grasp.

My legs have enough traversed the countries

My mind has enough traversed vast tracts of experience.

My temptations have already occupied me

Only thing remained unwavered is my will to conquer.

Life can be lived efficiently when we have desire to do so

It can be harnessed in the best way if we want to do so.

Will or desire is the supreme which shall take us to glory

With this we will just roam in the realm of darkness.

For seeing life you need not to traverse too far

It is always here, around you.

 Only thing required to open your eyes and realize it

Then you will find yourself more than quenched.

We need to dream greater than our life sizes

Otherwise we will remain far less than required.

Life is to live it fully

Otherwise tomorrow it may be repented that we lived even not.

What is it which makes us realize ‘completeness’

What is it which makes us sense ‘liberated’?

How can we feel the sense of ‘flow’

When we shall become one for which we are ‘incarnated’?

Darkness is enough; it requires a glow of light

A small ray of light makes flee the darkness.

A small ‘hope’ does away all thoughts of pessimism

A small ‘desire’ makes us a good Purusharthi.

These small-small things when added together

Become a great lump of enormous power.

Have you not heard ‘Unity is Strength’

The lesson the dying farmer given to his foolish sons?

The rishis of Upanishadas were seated in jungles

But from there only, were able to see the world fully.

Perhaps it is the silence of mind and serenity of environ

And above all again, the strong intension to do something.

Resources are necessary but the will is supreme

Perspiration is greater than will and inspiration is still greater.

Examination is next ahead and deduction is the final

If all these are combined in a man, success is not far away.

But what stops me to do even when I require to do

Perhaps it is my inertia or my laziness.

Or my non-realization or non-respect of the goal

Then how can I become in the class of greater ones?

The path to greatness is not possible for the fools

It is more than simple even for the wise ones.

They know it is in their waking only, they can relish the goal

Stopping shall mean the death of their pursuits.

Resting a while is only to invigorate will power & physical strength

But sleeping more than minimum, will take nowhere.

Waking can only take you to the conscious state

Sleeping only adds confusion & laziness to mind and body.

Make up your mind for the loftier things

Then you will complete tasks in the hand first.

Though there are correct steps for achieving any goal

But constancy in movements brings the desired results.

So be strong, do not waver – Stop not till the goal is accomplished.

-the word from Swami Vivekananda

Pawan Kumar,

6^th November, 2014 Time 16:19 Hrs.

(From My Shillong Dairy dated 24^th June, 2001, 06:10 PM)

Catching Time from Slipping

Catching Time from Slipping

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In life, time is a very important and precious commodity. But it always seems to be slipping from hand. There remain many targets, works and wishes unfinished and as it is without being fully accomplished for want of real action. Problem is not that we don't want to take them but there come many factors in the way hindering to bring positive results. We are master of time only when are able to catch it, use in a productive way extracting as maximum as possible from it so as to make our lives some worth. Many a times, there is a great frustration that we aren't living life in accordance of its requirements. The world is moving so fast that we aren't even able to have its glimpse. It would have been better if we are part of the process but the situation is so pathetic that we are simply standing yawning lazily having no real knowledge of neither of us nor of world. Is this can be said as real, ideal life? No, this is not life at all because without consciousness, life is non-existent, it is dead. Yes, curiosity like Ulysses can only make us some men of knowledge. Creativity like of Mahatma Gandhi, Dr. Ambedkar, Baba Amte, Martin Luther King, Anna Hazare, Nelson Mandela etc. can make us some worth. Our genius should be not-stopping.

As Lala Hardayal has asked to always continue in the path of knowledge. The way he quotes great authors and scholars of the world, certainly depicts his genius. He was a great revolutionary also who fought for independence of India against British in early 20^th Century. He gives several advices in his book, of which Hindi translation I read, which men can follow so as to certainly live a life of a full, ideal & harmonious man. So there is a need to modify our character, thoughts and perceptions for others as well us for real benefit of the world. In his famous book ‘I am OK, You are Ok’, Thomas Harris tells the purpose of the book to create the conditions, feelings in the people for greater utility and also the best possible life. So what I write anything means to truly define my views regarding me. I want to catch moments through writing daily diary but due to laziness or being involved in other things, this very important aspect of life remains unfulfilled. But life is not stopped. I have passed 32 years of my life. I was married six years ago and have a five years old daughter Saumya. She is a charming, sweet baby going to Prep class at Manav Sthali School, South Extn. She is sleeping besides me. She is very intelligent and is picking up things as best as possible. My whole wishes are on her and with Usha are trying the best to extract and give best to her.

Since last about one month, I haven't written anything in diary although life has flown through that. What is even worse that I am not even writing the important aspects of my life at least on weekly or fortnightly basis. Having no records of them is a permanent loss because everything can’t be left to memory and to wait for the time when I will have ample time to write the details of everyday of the past time. Virtually this is impossible because we cannot remain in the same condition all the time. We are changing fast every moment, every day. So try to put things in records whenever find time. That shall be only permanent asset of the life. Samuel Johnson had a habit to keep paper slips and pencil in his coat all the times and even while riding horse if some idea, new word eased to come to his mind, he would immediately scribble that on slips for keeping record  and later on editing. Lala Hardayal also suggests keeping a good diary of life. All great men of world had habit to kept daily diary of their life. I should also try to be honest to my life to give it the best. By collecting the best things into diary’s papers, I can expect to be enriched man after sometime.

Pawan Kumar,

31^st August, 2014 Time 17:08

(From my diary dated 8^th July’1998 Time 1:05 AM)

Consciousness and Expressed Behaviour

Consciousness and Expressed Behaviour

For last many days I was strongly thinking to express me in diary. I don’t claim to be a good writer and find self much below the great ones. Even then trying and expressing self in the words is certainly a better proposition than to remain an idle one. Writing is only one way of expression from many. In our daily discourses whether in home, travel, offices, general public interactions or elsewhere, we always express through our gestures, language, etiquettes, facial expressions, tone of speech, our moods, our intelligence or ideology or so. We like sun or any radiant body always emit something whether we want or not. It may be good or bad, beneficial or harmful, soothing or hurting or so. We go on expressing always, all the times. Spoken language is only one mean of expression. Even if we don’t know others’ languages, we judge them by their general demeanor expressed through body-movements. Always there is conscious or unconscious expression - whether we know or not, or whether we like or not. Man is a social being and whenever we are out, expressed impression start erupting from us.

The expressed behavior is the outward version of what is going inside. We bring out what we have and cannot give more. Our sudden outbursts at times are also spirits of repressed feelings having found appropriate opportunity to express. Even our bad deeds, or socially forbidden acts, though we know very well that they are not good, are also the result of accumulations from past long. Nothing happens all of sudden. We are certainly shaped by internal thoughts, external forces and our reactions to them. So life is like that only - it runs whether we want or not.

But what is correct method of living or expression. I had read a book ‘How to have a Beautiful Mind’ by Eduard de Bono which emphasizes to think on a topic in a number of ways. Our mind should not only be straight but multi-directional & multi-dimensional. We should bring more realms or facets to an object or problem by a creative mind and then try to reach the best one. Innovation and creativity are such ways which lead us to use our brain's maximum. Staleness is death so to remain alive, one has to be always consciously involved in thing or matter. This is also important where we want to concentrate. On the useful points, it is productive or efficient way of living life.  But there are many good or worth attention points which should draw our attention and motivate us to focus on them.

How much life do we have - only the living years? In the main question, some are really great because they try to imbibe in selves and bring a lot from inside.  Basically everything is in our inside - our fears, strengths, morals, ethics, crudity, savageness, godliness, rudeness or sweetness, pleasing or soothing attributes. We smile only when we want or when we are happy from inside or feel pleasure in that very discourse, idea or attribute we lie with. We cannot be forced by any one. We can keep mum; repress selves for a certain period or even for centuries. If it becomes habit to lose self confidence, fear of outside over power us. But in that situation also, whether our behavior repressed or not, fully coming out or not, we are always hiding something to outside what actually resides in us. Many a times even if we don’t express those repressed feeling and try to be good at face, but from inside we know that we are only acting and not behaving. But that is not natural expression but forced, well thought inside. Ideally our intellect, speech and action i.e. Mansa, Vachsa, karmana should be one.  Then there will not be any dilemma and action will be only what we think correct. 

But our thinking is also very limited and that too is shaped by many external forces. People always don’t take us seriously. Everybody is engrossed in self and acts in his own way but when in conscious state he is cautious in his expression. Our thinking is shaped by our environment, education, childhood experiences; own self-confidence, faith, religious teachings, general environment of society repressive or motivating, family background, economic status, trade or profession one is in or so. But how can be our thinking improved upon despite these factors. I think that only the education can bring positive changes. Besides, self-mediation and own Do’s or don’ts can also lead to some solace. Psychologists deal such problems and try to explain ways by which behavior can be modified to suit the present or better coming life by having known the past. I am not a psychologist but have read a few popular books e.g. ‘Road Less Travelled’ by Scot M Peck or ‘The Power of Your Sub-Conscious Mind’ by Dr. Joseph Murphy, and so on.

 

I am changing continuously, losing a little self every moment. I know people and their going from the world leaving living ones mute spectators. My general environment is not improving much and I am not much helping or fulfilling social obligations. I need some conscious feelings for my surroundings and contribute to some amelioration. Almost half the life is already passed and nothing great done in these years. Though there are some expressed traces of success but a lot is yet to be done. I had a lot of friends but I seldom make call to them. They call on phones occasionally but not much continuance. I have never told or not successful in convincing poor relatives, old friends, brethren how to improve their financial or intellectual status.  So the ground is flat and any design can be fitted in but I don’t have ingenuity, courage to pick up a pencil, colours and start drawing.

So let us try to consciously involve in our worthy affairs.

Pawan Kumar,
16^th August’2014 Time 13:48 P.M.
(From My Dairy dated 17.07.2011 Time 09:18 AM)

Mind's Ramblings & Cravings

Mind's Ramblings & Cravings

Deep into my mind, I crave for variety

Life is of many aspects, so aspire curiosity.

Necessity is to go for multi-dimensional,

And broadening scope with many faceted.

Mind craves not only the single realm,

But ever diverse & broad-visional.

Broaden horizon of mind to a large extent

See many aspects of even the little issue.

Colors it is having of many shades

Layers it keeps hidden beneath top skin.

Don’t rely on the apparent look only

Try to go into depth to know true history.

Don’t only be the consummator of day

But venture into details to know truth.

Don’t let the mind to get easily satisfied

Open its reins to move multi-directional.

Try to uncover the covered stuff

And gain some knowledge of true nature.

Don’t give up even if you understand less,

Have strong urge to learn the truth.

Things seem very simple though are not so

And take many ways to reach present status.

Enter into world of enlightened ones,

And experience the ecstasy of learning.

Path in beginning may be slightly tough

But on becoming habit, turns into working mode.

Be explorer of things, time, history and technologies

Why to satiate when there is so much to learn?

For you billions of concepts, issues are untouched

But world is more understandable than ever before.

May not be a good writer and without home work,

Even then try to forth views into your own words.

Everybody cannot be a Byron or Tennyson

But none stops to sketch with your paper & pen.

Write & write even for the sake of repetition

But try honestly to sketch the correct stuff.

Erudite you become with knowledge & experience

So hesitate not to inscribe in any stage you are in.

Life is a process and you are not same in all times

But each aspect has its own state & charm.

So go on expressing wherever you exist

Feats bring treasures which one not thinks often.

Pen is a self-writer & beholder is only medium

And his efforts & initiatives bear the new creations.

So always be ready with your stuff & tools,

May be it is not much acceptable to others.

So far I wrote for self, and not much for others

But that self-journey is also very enchanting.

Living own life knowing its strengths & weaknesses

And strong urge to win over the difficulties.

Give up lethargies physical-mental & brood infinity

Experience eternity & embrace the great ones.

Many are successful in this writing business,

And some really enter into class of self-actualized.

Be not an arm-chair intellectual but strive for a cause

Do some good and make life easy for at least few ones.

Have a feeling of universal bond,

Keep touch with everything and that is yours.

Try to know unknown from the known sources,

But bother not others first and try to find own path.

Motivate others also to relish path, if they can

As that will awaken from slumber of dependence.

So much around, and resources are enormous

Only zeal is required to make them yours’ own.

You will be more enlightened being then

And probably gain name, fame & fortune precious.

Strongly crave great, and richness is hidden in self

Relish the best of world and taste their essence.

Your heart and mind are the greatest assets

So take care of them better than anything else.

Greatness is not sudden but is a process

Just start and results will follow automatically.

Keep iron hot to avail the awaiting opportunities,

And align self for higher pursuits of the life.

What shade you want to give yourself,

What shape is wanted for the backward ones?

What good you can bring to them

What training is needed to take world’s challenges?

Create training infrastructure to fill up the development gap

Intend to come out of poor, menial, economic & social status.

Do not easily satiate with the limited success

And aspire high glories & efforts to pursue them.

Lives change not much by mere thinking & preaching

Real help is needed for the positive transformations.

Wish to see smiles on the saddened faces,

And do something for their status change.

Glow minds by doing away their darkness

Show way to do away the hardships.

Life is to win over the difficulties,

Show them it can be done, and is possible.

Start mechanisms to help the people

For realizing potentials and are self-dependency.

Mostly it is fight with self-created limitations,

So allow no self-mercy & also on others.

Live as a man as lady in the Statue of Liberty,

Enlightened self to fully know a person’s rights.

Have zeal to positively interact with others

And leave best impressions on known things.

Admittedly world has adversities & conspiracies,

But they cannot demean the body’s strong will.

We shall overcome, and we do believe

And will not stop at little hardships.

Why one should shy away from struggles

They will only strengthen and polish the lives.

There are no reasons to weep on the limitations

Pray for courage to overcome any dreaded stuffs.

Don’t give up but look ahead and more ahead,

Look to the best ones, and how they accomplished.

Admittedly one has individuality & emulation is not easy

But that doesn’t stop you to shine in own way.

Big challenge is to make others your own,

Speak sweetly and respect their feelings.

Make them believe you truly desire their good,

And initiate positive as people are generally status quoits.

Few pursue real changes though many simply want so,

Many even don’t know life beyond the immediate present.

So difficulty is how to align people for the hard work

And see life’s greatness, far grander than present.

Personal change is difficult but can succeed if pursued

But social changes require real courage and pains.

Success is imminent in the personal case

But it is hard task to awaken the masses.

It is not the awakening for a day or two

But is to make it a habit permanent.

It is not one or two, but the whole masses

Who always change faces, and need persistent efforts.

Changes are effective only when strong & continuous

Their purpose is specific suiting to people’s needs.

But often people don’t know their ignorance

So require constant enlightenment & training.

But knowing this entire one, one has a pious duty

To do something positive for the people.

Helping to realize that they can live like a man

And can pursue self-pursuits dear to them.

There is some progress but still more is to done

That they produce many souls having ability to inspire.

Need is to produce many enlightened minds,

And many good engineers, doctors & other professionals.

That they become good orators, writers & industrialists

And good politicians, administrators, thinkers & philosophers.

That they become psychiatrists, poets, and story-men

And craftsmen, artists, painters, actors, sculptors & architects.

That they become astronomers, scientists, educators and chemists,

And importantly the scientifically tempered human beings.

They come out of their ignorance, ill habits & superstitions

and be strong enough to see the world face to face.

They become duty-bound, disciplined citizens,

And contributors to society, not just the dependents.

They should be comfortable in their economic status,

And enjoy the life’s conveniences as others.

They should realize that world has enough for them,

That they have strengths to come up of their own.

That they deserve to avail opportunities available

And are well prepared to benefit them.

They become good humans with concern for others

And know the world & respect different cultures.

They don’t regard others as enemies,

But as the only mortals working in own way.

They should know that it is all education & training,

And will enable to take world’s challenges.

They should come out of their unskilled stage,

And come into the category of skilled ones.

They need to make them apt to take challenges

And prepared to help the world at cross-roads.

They should be able to do away own prejudices

And be strong enough to ignore others’ such faults.

They must know only strong ones can forgive

They should forget their only not-very glorious past.

But their legacies they must be proud of

And realize in hearts of being not-second to none.

Loss & gain are the faces of same coin

Leave the unnecessary stuff, and cherish the essence.

Realize present stuff, and plan for improvements

And be ready for the life’s best experiences.

So there is nothing to despair of

World has progressed a lot for sake of good.

Time is opportune, and pick up world’s nerve

Change self and course of history as well.

Questions are big but solutions are simple

Only strong urge and honesty can pursue big dreams.

Then almighty is with you to make successful

And you will definitely overcome, I do believe.

Pawan Kumar,

1^st July’2014 Time 23:26 Mid-night

( From my Dairy 31^st March’2013 Time 21:26 night)