Learning to Begin

Learning to Begin

This reflection arises from a quiet inner urgency—the difficulty of beginning, and the responsibility felt once thought begins to move. Life here is seen as entrusted rather than accidental, demanding attention rather than momentum. Writing becomes a way to pause, to test intention, and to examine the self before action follows. The questions raised are not meant to resolve neatly, but to remain present & guiding. What is sought is not greatness, but fidelity to thought, conduct, and daily effort. Change is imagined as inward first, gradual, and imperfect. This is not a declaration of certainty, but a moment of conscious becoming. Further, this is not an instruction but a participation.

Choosing a topic for morning writing is the hardest step to proceed.
One idea shapes the mind; the future quietly begins revolving around it.

Starting is the only difficulty, like every venture we undertake.
One must change the mental phase before any movement begins.
It resembles Newton’s first law; we prefer to remain where we are already.
From rest to motion needs energy; many hiccups appear on the way.

With time, smoothing slowly arrives, and our adjustment is to new rhythms.
Friction weakens gradually, and unfamiliar paths feel a bit more acceptable.
What once felt forced begins to appear natural and workable.
Thus, habit forms quietly, shaping direction without loud announcement.

My purpose here is to understand what leads me toward writing.
What remains hidden that makes one sit with pen and diary?
Why does this routine persist, as if destiny expects something further?
What this journey is meant to be, while one still feels quite ordinary?

Some intense inner makeup quietly urges me to begin again.
Whatever little time remains must be carefully utilised.
Life is not cheap enough to be casually squandered away.
What passes through us shapes us, refining the way ahead.

As a person, one feels responsible for the sphere given.
Everyone carries their own task; no one bears another’s guarantee.
Each must take care of oneself within life’s structure.
Where one goes determines the justice done to this life.

I must be faithful to life and learn to tread it carefully.
Being a civil engineer, I am expected to remain civilised.
One should not fritter away dignity nor belittle fellow beings.
Language, gesture, and conduct must remain gentle & respectful.

I was born knowing nothing of past or future journeys.
Awareness came slowly; memories before early childhood remain faint.
Fifty-two years have already passed through this life.
What remains ahead exists, yet its measure stays uncertain.

What should one consider—only the span between birth & death?
Or also what lingers later as memory, name, or deed?
Consciousness departs with death; that truth remains unchanged.
Yet goodwill survives briefly, earned during one’s living years.

Life’s juggernauts feel strange & puzzling, demand careful understanding.
They rise to maximum limits; as humans, we must attempt.
Some meditation must pass through us, refining sense slowly.
Fallibilities examined become tools for gradual self-correction.

I wish to realise life’s essence; its churning seems unavoidable.
What within us feels weak, yet longs quietly to strengthen?
Fears arise, asking not denial but gentle confrontation.
Perhaps courage grows through patience, not conquest alone.

I try to remain humanitarian, keeping people’s welfare in mind.
One hopes the world may become slightly more equal.
Being a safe presence itself becomes a contribution.
Calm, serenity & motivation shape the atmosphere we leave.

I wish to be noble & intelligent, sharing good thoughts humbly.
Not to equal great minds, but to humbly learn from them.
Bana, Shakespeare, Kalidasa, Buddha, Jesus, & Mahavir guide silently.
So do Kabir, Nanak, Ambedkar, Mandela, and Martin Luther King.

I want to clear inner fetters and the cluttered mind.
Leaving vain debates, one seeks better company & direction.
Guided by noble thoughts that shaped humanity earlier,
I wish to raise near ones into good human beings.

I want to dive deep into the ocean hidden within.
One should not hesitate to take unfamiliar or unusual paths.
The heights desired may remain distant and demanding.
Yet the journey itself must enrich us, steadily step by step.

 

Pawan Kumar,

Brahmpur (Odisha), 26^th January, 2026 (Republic Day), Monday, Time 10.46 P.M.

14th September 2018, Friday, 9.02 A.M., Mahendergarh