A Note to Steady Myself

A Note to Steady Myself

This piece is a record of self-counselling written during mental & professional strain. It does not aim to resolve problems, but to regulate energy, judgment, and conduct. The writing functions as a pause—a way to examine reactions, limit excess engagement, and restore balance while remaining responsible. It is not meant as instruction, but as a private calibration made public only because the struggles it reflects are shared by many. The intent is steadiness, not perfection; clarity, not closure.

 

Everything takes its time; even the mind needs time to heal.
Days feel cumbersome & draining; discussions often do not soothe.

One tries to remain calm, yet situations provoke awkward, unavoidable involvement.
Things meant to sail smoothly become unnecessarily uneasy and draining.
One struggles and spends precious energy on better & productive causes.
Thus, outcomes suffer, targets stagnate, and frustration slowly settles in.

There is much to handle; helping hands exist, yet difficulty persists.
When matters spread wide, control weakens, and one may easily stray.
Daily damages occur if alertness drops; capable support feels limited.
Self-interest operates too; many try to escape duties as cheaply as possible.

I realise issues deserve limited time; otherwise, unwanted troubles erupt.
Discussions must stay specific; good solutions slip when attention scatters.
We may have time to sit; others may not share that liberty.
We think we control everything, yet outcomes rest in others’ hands.

One must respect seniors in age, knowledge, and lived experience.
Avoid circumstances that create discomfort for oneself and others.
Time teaches slowly; nobody becomes mature or masterful suddenly.
Experience & daily interaction give footing, though progress feels gradual.

With little authority, one begins believing oneself greater than reality.
That happens; still, one must judge where one truly stands.
Positions are slippery; firm grounding prevents unnecessary rise & fall.
Enthusiasm helps, yet dual authorities must be consciously minimised.

The mind works vividly; the body often struggles to match that pace.
Criticising others comes easily; self-conduct avoids equal scrutiny.
One must grasp life’s subtle game plans and move steadily through them.
Checking oneself repeatedly prevents frequent inward slipping.

Awkward situations burden the body; unexplained headaches quietly begin.
Many realms deserve respect, yet one must protect energies.
Protection means strengthening oneself to face the coming challenges.
Pauses are necessary, too, and destiny unfolds tests in many forms.

Do we design daily affairs, or do they simply fall upon us?
The world notices effort when responsibility is handled sincerely.
Some situations sting deeply and shake one from within.
A wise person chooses responses; character quietly lifts him upward.

One should feel pride in work and speak when required.
This is not silent acceptance, but an effort to correct wrongs.
A questioning spirit is healthy; answers need patience and clarity.
Answers emerge as reactions shaped by proper understanding.

I tend to conserve energy and do meaningful work sincerely.
Yet assistance from those around should never be ignored.
One must not hesitate to ask for help when a genuine need arises.
Some will come forward, and the world is not entirely harsh.

One should challenge oneself daily, yet release inner strain gently.
Each day forms a chapter; therefore, live it with attentive effort.
Like leaves nourished by earth, growth needs quiet sustenance.
Life continues; each moment deserves a worthy passage.

I should remain democratic, respecting opinions that differ from mine.
Yet decisions must be timely; life rarely grants repeated chances.
Respect should not disturb one’s rightful growth and direction.
Unwanted hindrances drain energy; time comes only in fragments.

O inner self, remain placid and capable of chosen goals.
Let part of my energy serve the larger survival of this world.

 

Pawan Kumar,

24^th February 2026, Tuesday, 12.34 AM (Midnight)

(From my Mahendergarh diary, 5th October 2018, Friday, 8.56 A.M.

Learning from Great Minds and Education’s Levelling Power

Learning from Great Minds and Education’s Levelling Power

This morning reflection records thoughts after listening to global thinkers and observing how education brings people of diverse backgrounds together. The author sees education, scientific temper, and open dialogue as bridges between communities and as tools for reducing prejudice. The note is both personal & civic—a reminder that continuous learning, humility, and rational thinking can gradually create a more equal & harmonious society.

Listening to great minds is certainly a matter of fortune; we invite good traits.
We begin thinking in better directions for the masses and how lives improve.

Education is the biggest leveller in school & college environments for prospects.
Here, pupils of different backgrounds & social statuses congregate and share views.
Slowly, they mingle, interact, and understand each other’s thoughts & behaviour.
They modify their own pitfalls, and friendship develops through regular contact.

The ultimate goal of education is to raise oneself to understand humanity.
We look at separate pieces, yet in truth remain very close and sibling-like.
We must forgo ego & pride, and speak with humility and brotherhood.
Soon, congeniality grows, and cooperation arises naturally among people.

We may recognise our backgrounds, parentage, education, and economic levels.
But that alone is not sufficient; we must become people-oriented.
Human beings are the most precious assets, and if trained, can uplift society.
Ordinary persons can rise high and taste many forms of inner ecstasy.

I saw a YouTube video of SPIEF-18 International Economic Forum, St. Petersburg, Russia.
The main speakers were futurist scientist Michio Kaku and Jaggi Sadguru from India.
The anchor was Sophie Shevardnadze, granddaughter of USSR’s former foreign minister.
Two more speakers were present, and a meaningful interaction was going on.

Kaku spoke about the future of the internet, artificial intelligence, and robotics.
Bio-mechanics, self-driven cars, and machine intelligence may pervade every sphere.
Ageing may be reduced as substitutes for worn-out body parts become available.
Man may gain powers once imagined only for the gods of earlier myths.

He said technology in the coming decades may enable humans to achieve much.
Yet problems arise if robots start thinking and overpower human intelligence.
The internet may rewrite education systems and strengthen democracies worldwide.
Children across nations may connect closely and avoid hatred or violence.

Great minds think big and send messages of harmony to humanity.
People must come out of ignorance and seek a more blissful life.
Technology offers immense possibilities, though life may become mechanical & dependent.
Sadguru noted that comforts increase, yet happiness does not automatically follow.

Kaku said development is a bundle of histories; change happens within years.
Without our permission, many accumulations alter the course of history.
Today, the world focuses intensely on science, technology, and innovation.
Great work continues in batteries, solar power, wind energy, and storage systems.

When energy becomes cheap, many facilities come easily within human reach.
Travel, libraries, homes, industries, and offices expand greatly for production.
Clean fuel is necessary to undo pollution’s effects on life forms.
Labs in the US, China, and Europe work constantly to reshape humanity’s future.

There are gurus also around the world who gather people & preach sermons.
Teaching discipline is good, but blind mythologies may restrict thinking.
We should not ignore knowledge from history, written or remembered.
Yet it must be checked carefully, as it may favour particular orientations.

Whatever man is today is an accumulation of knowledge & cultural traits.
Value-inputs from many ages layer within us and gradually make us wiser.
These synthesise slowly in the mind, often unnoticed but deeply influential.
We must train our minds well to receive signals and improve life’s course.

I have read Michio Kaku’s book Physics of the Future earlier.
It opened my mind to where modern science & technology are heading.
Listening again yesterday encouraged me to read him more & learn further.
Big minds influence us, yet we must develop our own originality.

We must remain curious, studious, and work-oriented in this changing world.
Continuous learning may help us become better humans and serve society.

 

Pawan Kumar,

Brahmpur (Odisha), 8^th February, 2026, Sunday, 9:41 PM

(From my New Delhi diary, dated 13^th February 2022, Sunday, 9:33 A.M.) 

Reading as Daily Nourishment

 Reading as Daily Nourishment

(A Reflective Note)

These reflections arise from a simple daily habit of reading and observing life. Though memory fades and details disappear with time, experiences & books still shape one’s inner strength quietly. Reading here is not for storing information, but for slow nourishment of thought & character—much like food or exercise for the body. These notes accept forgetting as natural, while trusting the silent growth that continues within.

 

I read one book at a time, sometimes two or three, also together.
When finished, I keep it on the shelf and soon forget the title & author.

My memory is not very strong; daily works scatter attention in many directions.
Everything needs concentrated effort, sticking firmly to the main purpose only.
I read mainly for inner satisfaction; many subjects are unrelated to my profession.
Yet something inside feels amused and alive during the hours of reading.

Reading feels like meditation, sometimes even ecstasy, rarely fully attained.
Many concepts go above the head; several lines remain half understood.
Though I try word by word, concentration often slips and goes haywire.
The author’s full sense escapes, and I quietly move to the next page.

Still nowadays, I finish full books, hoping the essence settles somewhere.
Irony remains—I cannot recall the gist in the normal course later.
Some basic wisdom must be entered slowly and fixed into personality.
Like regular exercise, strengthening muscles silently, maybe a little visible change.

It is like ‘गूंगे का गुड़’, sweetness tasted but never expressed in words.
For fifty years, I ate food daily, yet recall no exact tastes.
Office tasks fill days completely, yet methods and details fade quickly.
Reminiscences dim with time, and richness dissolves, leaving strange ignorance.

I see a film and soon forget the plot, songs, characters, and dialogues.
Important news heard today disappears from memory after a few days.
Fatiguing work pains the body, yet pain itself vanishes strangely later.
Even harsh suffering softens slowly, and life returns quietly to normal.

I meet many people daily—friends, colleagues—yet faces blur gradually.
Names fade away; some vanish as if never part of my life.
My mother is gone; even her memories weaken with passing time.
New engagements overlap older ones, and life keeps moving forward.

 

I attended big sermons once, felt inspired, convinced of their benefits.
Today, no lines remain, nor faces of those wise speakers remembered.
So many interactions happen daily, yet nothing guarantees retention.
Life slips through our hands; we live mostly in the present moment.

Then what is reading, if everything fades with passing time?
Should we stop learning and remain aloof, assuming nothing stays?
No, we still need food, water, shelter, sleep, and exercise daily.
These needs return every day; nourishment must be repeated regularly.

Travel feels similar—journeys taken, places seen, friendships briefly formed.
We step out of routine, stay in hotels, and meet strangers happily.
Markets, streets, tastes, and voices amuse us for some time.
Later details slip away, though faint impressions remain somewhere within.

I earn money from my livelihood, yet it flows away quickly.
None carries wealth finally, yet earning remains necessary for living.
Comforts come only from resources; survival needs cannot be denied.
Even forgotten comforts served a purpose while they were present.

Thus, reading also seems a daily necessity, like food for the mind.
It nourishes silently, preparing me for the hardships of harsh survival.
Like races needing practice, knowledge also needs constant replenishment.
Strength grows slowly inside, though results are rarely visible outwardly.

I must not feel frustrated for forgetting what I once read.
Today’s present will also fade tomorrow, yet it remains necessary today.
Without reading, the mind feels starved, like a body without proper food.
It is nourishment for thought, essential for mental balance.

Books on many topics decorate the shelves of my mind quietly.
They mix with earlier impressions, reshaping personality without furore.
They mould me invisibly, making me somewhat steadier and clearer.
Deep changes occur within, though I barely recognise them consciously.

The good thing is books remain; I can reopen and revisit anytime.
Pages refresh memory; forgotten thoughts return with small effort.
Knowledge rests deep in unconscious layers, retrievable when required.
At least I know the sources and can correct myself again.

Books are like minerals needed daily for balanced intellectual health.
Sitting still, we travel through the minds of many great people.
Places awaken, characters breathe, histories speak directly to us.
A hardbound volume carries condensed life, better than emptiness.

No one remembers all; capacity is limited amidst infinite information.
Yet we must gather what is possible and enrich ourselves gradually.
Books remain ready helpers, always available without complaint.
Through them, we move closer to fuller human completeness.

Good books leave impressions, shaping the interior quietly & steadily.
They prepare us for larger challenges and lift us above average.
What goes in must someday emerge as clearer thought or writing.
So I keep accumulating patiently, trusting slow growth within.

 

Pawan Kumar,

Brahmpur (Odisha), 4th February, 2026, Time 9.19 A.M. 

New Delhi, 4th January 2022, Tuesday, 6:25 A.M.