People’s Lives and Morning Prayers

People’s Lives and Morning Prayers

----------------------------------------------

I have just now finished the story 'अरमान' from the book 'गूंगे सुर बाँसुरी के' by Sh. Pannalal Patel, a very famous Gujarati story-writer. This is a compilation of stories translated in Hindi by other persons. His style of writing is very much touching. He goes deep into human psychology and tries to explore the best. He emphasizes that people in general are very innocent, and a vibrant life is filled in ordinary peoples’ lives. Further they are able to correct selves if sometimes there are mistakes. They enjoy life, feel it, weep it and live it fully. In fact we become too sophisticated over the time, and don’t care other people’s psychology or perspectives, and this is sad. Inter-dialogue is an important thing, and able to negotiate a way. We shouldn’t scratch a permanent line in the relations, and realise that within deep of us, a pure human being is hidden. Only thing required is to explore that and respect. A big question is how to become the best and desire the best from others? But we must first respect others - behave properly so that they also realize their actual positions & potentials. We must come on their platform, brood their situation, and must not expect a sea-change in a little time. We should keep enough patience so as to achieve full benefits. But we must also realize the actual facts & forces acting behind a phenomenon and then judge the importance of that event in our arena and decide what to act and how to act.

Today’s day was passed in office work only. Since last few days, I have started going morning walk up to the ‘Pastor House’ on hill above Tripura Castle of Shillong, where I am posted. It is sun’s morning here, I take exercise and concentrate on nothingness and then meditate on knowledge-goddess ‘Saraswati’. I pray her to bless with right knowledge, right attitude, right resolve and right action. I pray to help in understanding the complete issues of nature in a simple way; enrich memory and fill dedication in me in all spheres of life taken up as activity. I wish to be blessed with curiosity, tirelessness and always knowledge-pursuing. There are many questions about self, surroundings, terrestrial/extra-terrestrial etc. Spheres are many – I try to find answers. O Ma Saraswati, bless, bless me, I am quite a novice & simpleton. You have blessed even the most forgetful persons. With your pity, the whole darkness of mind shatters and one can enter into something another world where happiness is borne in the heart. Such is the realization of internal ecstasy. O Ma Saraswati, I can’t succeed without your grace. Kindly grant buddhi (knowledge) so that I may know priorities, and bless courage so that I can work upon them. You can only support me. Ma, I am unable to tolerate many a times – you raise me in own eyes. Please persuade so that I can do something remarkable of some essence. Life can extend with your blessings only; a life lived without its feeling is worthless. With your pity only, I can stand on own feet. I am not able to listen the music of heart, your Veena. Ma, please tell how to be your devotee, pupil, son & worthy of your blessings. My tongue is sewed quietly and I am not able to speak. Or even if I speak, that is not of much value. With your prasada (compassion) only, I may be good at speech. My pen is not able to write good words, Ma, bless me. Do away my mind from evils so that I can think best of the possible best. Right, appropriate and complete knowledge are the targets. Make me sit to the job, and persuade to work hard. My only wish is to be a sincere child of your school, going to right sources for seeking knowledge. Please bless with vinaya (submissiveness) for gaining vidya (right knowledge), and snatch from useless & bad dialogues. Enable to realize priorities in life, respecting knowledgeable and able to sit in their feet for attaining true knowledge. Please do away my laziness and mind’s tiredness to make experience ‘true consciousness’. O Ma, please help & bless me.

Your son,

Pawan Kumar,

27^th August, 2016 Time 22:51 Night

(From my Shillong Dairy 5^th February, 2001 Midnight)

Responsible Journey

Responsible Journey

I am feeling well and happy. Since morning only, I was thinking to pen today & bring the self a little closer. Apparently I am with me all the times - in walking, working, eating, doing chores and even in sleep but there is a vast hiatus between intrinsic & outwardly feelings. We are told that a great empire or treasure exists inside which fortunately we can realize but such experience has not occurred to me so far. At times, there are few ecstatic moments while brooding or good reading when I feel closer to self but at other times, only vast gap is seen. Path is endless which at times I try to traverse by taking few paces but that is only when in some brooding process. This diary writing can witness that or close ones may perhaps realize a lit bit. My thinking to self i.e.. strong points – encouragement; weak points - overcoming them & converting into sturdy ones; knowledge about self - making it witness & stopping thinking of me doing a great job for world; thirst for knowledge - enhancing it to the extent possible; quest for excellence - having a real feeling inside & felt by others if possible; choices - strong desires to shape life in own way or in other’s ways also if suiting and I like it.

Details have a large role in life - planning to the last bit possible- preparing self for that, having knowledge of things, reading suitable literature, nearing the best ones, trying to develop harmony in working, respecting the sincere peers, having positive outlook / sympathy for less-fortunate / knowledgably disadvantaged people, and desire to cherish knowledge from superior ones in any field. Respect for excellence is key to progress and leads towards self-actualization winning self, sorting out several small issues & things which the world thinks important. One is to attain vast inner treasure but where, what, how that is - its characteristics, formal forms, and how it is realized? Questions are many and need answers. Several books have been read and many more will be read - timely solace is there also but permanent fixation in mind / body stage is yet to arrive at. Inner is dark and on illumination only, I can realize it? We are told this hidden is the greatest of all other treasures and nobody can snatch from us. Yes, great minds try to share it with others by distributing the realms of inner experiences, and pave ways for inward journey. Blessed ones certainly try to foot in that and great ones realize that vast, endless inner world. My situation is of coming in this unknown land but not knowing anyone who can help. Strange are all things, unknown of the languages, like situation at birth in world, not knowing whether the family where birth taken is happy or gloomy, and even who the mother is. Everything is strange and nothing is conceivable. That is the land of aliens – unaccustomed, certainly quite ignorant, not knowing their way. Nobody is guide and distant goals aren’t known. We don’t have the resources to reach and only grieve own lame, helpless & gloomy feelings.

But we have set out a foot and problem is we can’t return back because being fallen from a great high world and there is not any intermediate place for shelter. It is like of a raindrop fallen from cloud not knowing its culmination - venom, pearl or just vapored away in hot sand-bed depending on where falls. Situation is of not knowing the present, past or future, having quite unconscious mind and just walking as an ignorant. No attachment, feeling, desire; nothingness is only essence or feeling but that also is not known. Life has turned into unconscious one - a dark world where only this pen is crawling on the paper. It is said that this nothingness is of great value as it evacuates self from pre-occupations, false notions, outward imitations and other inhibitions. But this is the situation of the equanimity - no happiness or gloom, the entire world is same. Here I am quite alone. Though no leg-pulling, I still require help - not knowing from where it shall come.

In the start, eagerness is shown to move closer, befriend with self – becoming own support. I am to be of strong will and win self, to be just of self. I have consciously decided to work with it. So in the dark situation of inward journey also, I carry a strong desire & consciousness to cherish hidden treasured goal. Desire is only to realize that Ultimate consciousness. Perhaps it is only here mind is shaped such that outward enemies- kama (lust), krodha (anger), mada (pride), moha (affliction), lobha (greed), and matsarya (jealousy) are away. Problem is how to lead self and what are the steps in journey - trying to understand the apparent facets of inner world - what are they and how to befriend? What are its colors, how do they look, their show eagerness / interest, if any, and any seemingly friendly to be a torch-bearer in the journey? They must have knowledge of that world although unsure because having no knowledge even when seemingly live almost an endless life. But there are few who try to understand this life / world and know more. In this world, we should have such souls as friends, and in other world also where we have stepped in - the amiable fellows whom we can talk, understand signs and aquatint and so on.

So who are these friends or guides in this serious journey? In childhood, we used to listen from epics that some unknown helped the seeker in furthering his journey. Although the help is situation-specific and not a sure sign of success but certainly a harbinger to move ahead because we have to pass through many realms successfully before reaching the ultimate one. For every situation, solution is unique but that has to be found. Personal valour, strong earnest and non-stopping attitude creates a winner. It is the journey of no rest. In rest also, brooding is about it as journey is more important than achievement because it enriches with vast intrinsic experiences and nears to self. So now we should have certain unknown as friends - who can be these? I think they are attitudes, qualities with which though aware already but didn’t give much attention. Sages have listed few as honesty, compassion, truth, equanimity, behavior as we want for us or so. These are important not only for outer world but also for inward journey as they provide required strengths to traverse fathomless distances. So consider some of such strong points as friends in this journey.

One character from inner world understands this desire and expresses this as unique, and only the bold can enter while the weak ones have to give way. Since I have tried entry, decide the goal - is it really so or simply acting or dramatizing but intents are good and strong. Then the message comes - try to be a good human, useful to others, loyal to responsibilities - not imposed by others but out of respect respect & fulfill them faithfully. Try to impart the best - in speech, actions and behavior. Don’t speak omens & stop blaming others - it only shows own wickedness, weaknesses and ill feelings. Have good feelings for others - well-wishers or otherwise. Try to do as many good deeds as possible. Pass the life in the best way that on its passing, there is no regret. Life is the name of living i.e. consciousness, control over one’s thinking & physical actions. Bring dignity by actions, be repose in disposition and lead people in sympathetic ways. Understand humanity and have respect for that. Be systematic in approach and efficient. Try to cover many things in least possible time, efficiently but do not compromise on excellence. Give importance to time, people & available resources. Try to live the best in present moments and realize their importance. Goal shouldn’t be for self only but for entire humanity also including children, spouse, parents, brothers, sisters, their children, fellow villagers, relatives, neighbors, friends etc., and helping in own ways. How can they be developed to the extent possible? Being from a needy social arena, there is a more responsibility towards it. Not to live only in own fool or some may say happy world but having regard for fellow citizens and doing something positive shall be a little service to humanity. So besides job or home duties, social responsibilities should also be part of journey. Admittedly resources are scarce - but knowledge, enlightening, inspiration and goodwill shall also be asset for them in a large way. 

So life is not only of self and family but for all & loving the background where born. Motives are firm and unwavering, and shall certainly do the best possible. Problems are many and larger society needs to take responsibility, be a more caring,  reasonable understanding for disadvantaged, doing best for excellence and undiminished will to progress and not to look sad, increasing participation and so on. So I should try to do job in the best possible manner and excel in working I am responsible. May be I am successful in realizing the results in the outward & inward scales, and that will be tribute to self and my thoughts.

Wishing a Best Journey. 

Pawan Kumar,

20^th August, 2016 Time 23:42 Mid-night

(From my Dairy dated 07.05.2006 Time 6.00 PM)

Philosophy Present

Philosophy Present

....................................

What is life’s philosophy, how can I say living own life

Or just passing in a mental scape, mired in self’s deeds?

Some reading is fine but what firm convictions erupted

Not believing just as projected, but mind conceives right?

Others may profess incorrect; you can be in their shoes 

Reasonable is when self’s elevation finds one platform.

What world’s best minds construct, profess for general use

Else they think without fixed ends & length in-between?

In general in daily lives, we react as per our inclinations

Can they be compiled though difficult, depends on situation?

How one behaves in a fixed way, is his life’s philosophy

And accumulates attributes, is environment found by luck?

What we’re in present moments, could others be in theirs

Could each be that very person, had same conditions given?

What genetic material & environment, we interact in daily lives

How much sportingly we take or forcing factors goad to believe?

Who are teachers, parents, friends, tending to move in set ways

Or am I just a fluff that one blow will fly in its direction?

What freedom man is given to believe in his own ways

Why prejudices goad mind, not letting free to ponder?

Good or bad is relative, depending upon own interests

Free, neutral can judge correctly for good in ultimate run.

Why I am so, what factors working on at present  

Is it a machine or object, behaving what use put to?

If object, who is keeper, responsible for correct working

I, surrounding or Almighty, question big needing answer?

Who provides present conditions, I write these words

Why mind thinks only these, alternatives don’t erupt?

Why do I move in philosophy, which persuades to move

Or inner thinking world just pursues to take some out?

Is writing normal action, auto evolves to a mental level

Or a process to embrace culminating best, one can find?

Life’s purpose is to understand full by possibly self or others

I am minuscule; see very little, unable to draw a big picture.

My philosophy is according to situation, whether I like or not

I can be dissatisfied with life, even with working on thoughts.

It is not necessary always to be comfortable with inner self

Many times frustrations tear apart, forcing to find solutions.

Who does pose questions to self, am I able to find answers

What material found in way, does that suit my conditions?

Who are guides on aspects, what philosophy carry in selves

How much matching inclinations, determines each course?

What are cultural contexts, do I imbibe good relations with

Who will show path or else remain in perpetual darkness?

What is this inner constitution and stuff I am consisted of

What possibilities are inhibited & adaptability as them?

What time is given to healthily take up or rebel status quo

I consider many situations as bad & try to avert with force.

Mind germinates all good-bad thoughts, action comes later

A step big to challenge authorities, not happens in one day.

What are daily materials - layer & embalm a set behavior

Why strengthen in that very way, in which I am interested?

Often things don’t happen as wished, I am a mute spectator

Life doesn’t flow as wished, else scene would be different.

There’re many Yes-No or 1-0 situations, choose only one 

One is gainer or loser, we remorse on being disenchanted.

Many accidents we meet in daily lives, none wishes fatal

Several things not in own control, may we confess or not.

Many situations go on making, knowingly or not in actions

Even when we do nothing, action may be seen good or bad.

What secular solutions to unimaginable, can succeed in efforts

Yes careful tread with good intentions may perhaps pave way.

World is a mix of several factors -big, small or frivolous

Each has its own weight and goads result in its favour.

We’re to be strenuous & can pressurize to be one factor

Ultimate not in hand, attention is key in close situations.

Practise doing small tasks independently, see what factors work

Slowly increase efforts for complex, influence each connected.

Personal efforts - a big say, things can be decided by own weights

It is persuasion/timely action, control before going beyond hand.

Slowly describe life’s attributes & define in own words

Words are life’s philosophy, maybe we believe or not.

What we think is only reflected, at times inconvenient too    

But define honest inner being, that will reveal a little self.

Thanks, Try more elegantly.

Pawan Kumar,

19th March' 2016 Time 18:31 PM

(From My Dairy 15^th November’2015 Time 10:52 AM)

Elevation

Elevation

---------------

How do people enhance in careers & what ways do they adopt?

They’re scholars, artists, writers, scientists, technocrats, businessmen or so.

How do they germinate ideas for creativity & innovation?

And dare to eye on big goals, do everything to attain them.

How do people ready them to run the marathon races?

Know it very tough, demanding & exhausting to large extent.

How do people determine to scale difficult peaks of mountains?

And dare targets which perhaps might not even be thought.

 How do they aspire to visit the icy north & south poles?

And dare to dive into oceans, even knowing dangers several.

How do they think of revolutions against mighty Earth’s rulers?

Minuscule in strength & resources but keep courage enormous.

How do they think to bring changes as per their aspirations?

Know well many stumbles in ways but dare experiments.

How does one become scholar though is from illiterate family,

And joins elite’s club in short time through hard work & vigour?

 How does a poor background person dare to become millionaire,

What spirit does work in him, though has to start from ab-initio?

How does one turn Anna Hazare, Baba Amte or Vinoba Bhave,

And Gandhi, Tagore, Tolstoy, Shashtri or Medha Patkar?

How does he revolutionize self & then strives for social equity?

And cherishes goals noble, doing humanity a great service.

How does a struggling fellow dare to see beyond immediate?

And imagines for new, noble world and doesn’t bother hindrances.

How can one average student aspire to be excellent scholar?

And tries many disciplines with dedication & perspiration.

How does a weak young man dare to be a good wrestler?

Practices in fields incessantly, learning game’s fine nuances.

How does a teacher’s son dream to be great Sachin Tendulkar?

And boys playing in street, do all to play internationals.

How does an illiterate person dare to enter learned’s fields?

Learns by heart all required lessons, illuminating inner self.

How does a remote village’s girl become boxer Mary Kom?

Gives big challenge to even best trained with her strong punches.

How does a Siddhartha become Buddha & challenges pre-concepts?

And many come in fields with own theories even if may be incorrect.

How does one dare beyond stereotypes & applies mind for light?

May be he succeed or fail but courage is admirable.

How does a man progress in world & creates vast civilizations?

With basic raw materials already on earth from time immemorial.

How does one see beautiful idol in rock rough and irregular?

And chisels all extras to shape his cherished sculpture.

How does one dare his pen in vast, long journal pages?

Though may not have any idea what will be next word.

How does one create long epics by sheer zeal & consistency?

And raw materials he collects, though mind is quite vacant.

How does one adopt all checks & balances to shape personality?

And is steadfast in resolutions & able to create marvels.

How does one meditate in solitary moments & tries unusual?

This self-struggle is the key to unravel beyond mediocre.

Pawan Kumar,

7th July'2015 Time 23:08 Night

(From my dairy 18.03.2015 Time 9:28 AM) 

Passing Life

Passing Life

------------------

Life is moving fast with little time for reflection

Whole day remain busy in office & other chores.

We need to capture moments for own soul’s sake

Meticulously develop it also along with body and age.

Body growth or ageing are mere phenomenon physical

But soul’s growth leads to real sense progress.

We just don’t remain fluffs in wind of life

But gain some mass to settle & think substantial.

Not to just pass time in idling & worldly tasks

But see closely we do & whether really required.

Everything is in cycle but requirement is realization

We are infant, child, juvenile, youth, middle & old age.

But phases culminate in passing away of this body,

By reincarnation theory, things convert into other stuffs.

Other also not much alien, only change is form & properties

May be that animate or inanimate, will depend on situation.

We are of same basic material, this is the ultimate truth

Each deeply connects with others, relation is perennial.

What & how to comprehend, where it leads to

Seeing like Tolstoy’s stalwart, find self a tiny morsel.

They gave so much to world in life of ordinary age,

And did best to humanity & generations all to come.

They wrote at lengths with enlightenment of souls,

Dived deep to understand secrets & disseminate.

We can understand full mental geography of a person

What he speaks, is generally mirror of personality.

But why do the great ones express for others

As innermost urge first is to be in touch with self.

First they talk with self in journey of knowledge

Writing is one way to deeply connect with self.

Writing time is nothing but trying to trace self

Characters, words only speak language of inner soul.

May be dexts are able to create new by genius

But crux & essence is mirror of their true self.

There were numerous in past & still exist in present

But we can’t gauge with closed eyes & un-receptive minds.

We are embroiled much in daily negative & gossip stories,

And media sensationalism with purpose is to increase TRP.

A precious part is taken by unnecessary clutter around,

And we forget true selves & just sway away.

What we need is to sit silently & heed own actions,

Check whether fulfills very purpose of coming to world.

Life is not fireball-cinder or prone to hypes

But soothing, prudent & exhilarating realism of self.

One must come out of greedy & ignorant ways around,

Accompany true trying to know self & contribute positively.

How deep to go in mind’s images & heart’s longings?

Find some pearls precious which can turn our lives.

Deep desire may fulfill & elevation is apparent,

Be able to speak good words, pen on diary pages.

My puzzles are there but enlightened suggest ways

After coming to realism, they come to the point.

They didn't weep over ignorance & false ways

After learning actual condition, start to work with.

In Resurrection, Tolstoy tries to come out of self,

And through kingdom within perhaps, leads the self.

If you win self, no victory remains to attain

Everything becomes easy, as if got great treasure.

Where do I exist and not know much

So much passes in daily chores of existence.

Precious life is not converted into worthy one

And price I got is very less than it could be.

It is true that raw stone does not fetch much

Needs to chisel, carve, polish & sell at good stall.

It needs display also, connoisseurs can judge value

Also good craftsman to suggest more uses with it.

We are never complete, require work & rework,

Excellence is far away & dreams yet to attain.

Requires good efforts & patience to produce well,

But becomes easy when becomes a way of life.

Me trying to upturn ever turn and side turns,

To see true self & gauge like objective observer.

Where & how deliverance is possible & ways to eye,

Leaving lethargy to do some good worth memorabilia.

I want enrichment of experience & straightness of mind,

Steadfastness of efforts & focused approach of attained.

Increasing compass around with data available plenty,

And be able to chase good for benefit of self & others.

How can I pave this life in ways of great ones?

Who left their traces around & never boasted of.

Tried to live truly with honesty & zeal,

And did to justice to tasks given to them.

Company is important but recognizes true ones

Everybody is fantasized with self & has no time.

Few are only showy & have no interest in your affairs

Solace only is when one finds good people around.

Before that try to be good for self & others’ benefit

Then you will be able to find others for your use.

It is give & takes only; many are really good

Sincerity & longing for generous will open true path.

Take interest in others also who can be of your use

They also long your attention & bigheartedness.

Seeing status, obviously others keep hoping eyes

Recognize needy and do all in your reaches.

Follow ways of excellent ones & pave paths for some

Encourage to stand erect & look around to judge.

Open minds for possibilities if really are chased

And is in everybody’s reach to attain desired goals.

Responsibilities are huge for society & circle around

I should & cannot remain droll just seeing what concerns.

Need be a little harbinger for positive changes in lives

Reach to people, lead education path & enlighten.

I need to speak mind in writings & blogs

Contribute to society’s knowledge & for worthy cause.

I am also apt to speak language of enlightened

And able to converse with ones imparting to society.

O Almighty, make, strengthen, guide, chide me or so

Do anything you want but correct, excel & open.

Make me friend of self & of humanity,

A heart not bulging on others’ ignorance or weakness.

Pawan Kumar,

12^th May, 2015 Time 23:37 Midnight

(From My Dairy 14^th Feb 2014 Time 7:50 P.M.)