Catching Time from Slipping

Catching Time from Slipping

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In life, time is a very important and precious commodity. But it always seems to be slipping from hand. There remain many targets, works and wishes unfinished and as it is without being fully accomplished for want of real action. Problem is not that we don't want to take them but there come many factors in the way hindering to bring positive results. We are master of time only when are able to catch it, use in a productive way extracting as maximum as possible from it so as to make our lives some worth. Many a times, there is a great frustration that we aren't living life in accordance of its requirements. The world is moving so fast that we aren't even able to have its glimpse. It would have been better if we are part of the process but the situation is so pathetic that we are simply standing yawning lazily having no real knowledge of neither of us nor of world. Is this can be said as real, ideal life? No, this is not life at all because without consciousness, life is non-existent, it is dead. Yes, curiosity like Ulysses can only make us some men of knowledge. Creativity like of Mahatma Gandhi, Dr. Ambedkar, Baba Amte, Martin Luther King, Anna Hazare, Nelson Mandela etc. can make us some worth. Our genius should be not-stopping.

As Lala Hardayal has asked to always continue in the path of knowledge. The way he quotes great authors and scholars of the world, certainly depicts his genius. He was a great revolutionary also who fought for independence of India against British in early 20^th Century. He gives several advices in his book, of which Hindi translation I read, which men can follow so as to certainly live a life of a full, ideal & harmonious man. So there is a need to modify our character, thoughts and perceptions for others as well us for real benefit of the world. In his famous book ‘I am OK, You are Ok’, Thomas Harris tells the purpose of the book to create the conditions, feelings in the people for greater utility and also the best possible life. So what I write anything means to truly define my views regarding me. I want to catch moments through writing daily diary but due to laziness or being involved in other things, this very important aspect of life remains unfulfilled. But life is not stopped. I have passed 32 years of my life. I was married six years ago and have a five years old daughter Saumya. She is a charming, sweet baby going to Prep class at Manav Sthali School, South Extn. She is sleeping besides me. She is very intelligent and is picking up things as best as possible. My whole wishes are on her and with Usha are trying the best to extract and give best to her.

Since last about one month, I haven't written anything in diary although life has flown through that. What is even worse that I am not even writing the important aspects of my life at least on weekly or fortnightly basis. Having no records of them is a permanent loss because everything can’t be left to memory and to wait for the time when I will have ample time to write the details of everyday of the past time. Virtually this is impossible because we cannot remain in the same condition all the time. We are changing fast every moment, every day. So try to put things in records whenever find time. That shall be only permanent asset of the life. Samuel Johnson had a habit to keep paper slips and pencil in his coat all the times and even while riding horse if some idea, new word eased to come to his mind, he would immediately scribble that on slips for keeping record  and later on editing. Lala Hardayal also suggests keeping a good diary of life. All great men of world had habit to kept daily diary of their life. I should also try to be honest to my life to give it the best. By collecting the best things into diary’s papers, I can expect to be enriched man after sometime.

Pawan Kumar,

31^st August, 2014 Time 17:08

(From my diary dated 8^th July’1998 Time 1:05 AM)

Consciousness and Expressed Behaviour

Consciousness and Expressed Behaviour

For last many days I was strongly thinking to express me in diary. I don’t claim to be a good writer and find self much below the great ones. Even then trying and expressing self in the words is certainly a better proposition than to remain an idle one. Writing is only one way of expression from many. In our daily discourses whether in home, travel, offices, general public interactions or elsewhere, we always express through our gestures, language, etiquettes, facial expressions, tone of speech, our moods, our intelligence or ideology or so. We like sun or any radiant body always emit something whether we want or not. It may be good or bad, beneficial or harmful, soothing or hurting or so. We go on expressing always, all the times. Spoken language is only one mean of expression. Even if we don’t know others’ languages, we judge them by their general demeanor expressed through body-movements. Always there is conscious or unconscious expression - whether we know or not, or whether we like or not. Man is a social being and whenever we are out, expressed impression start erupting from us.

The expressed behavior is the outward version of what is going inside. We bring out what we have and cannot give more. Our sudden outbursts at times are also spirits of repressed feelings having found appropriate opportunity to express. Even our bad deeds, or socially forbidden acts, though we know very well that they are not good, are also the result of accumulations from past long. Nothing happens all of sudden. We are certainly shaped by internal thoughts, external forces and our reactions to them. So life is like that only - it runs whether we want or not.

But what is correct method of living or expression. I had read a book ‘How to have a Beautiful Mind’ by Eduard de Bono which emphasizes to think on a topic in a number of ways. Our mind should not only be straight but multi-directional & multi-dimensional. We should bring more realms or facets to an object or problem by a creative mind and then try to reach the best one. Innovation and creativity are such ways which lead us to use our brain's maximum. Staleness is death so to remain alive, one has to be always consciously involved in thing or matter. This is also important where we want to concentrate. On the useful points, it is productive or efficient way of living life.  But there are many good or worth attention points which should draw our attention and motivate us to focus on them.

How much life do we have - only the living years? In the main question, some are really great because they try to imbibe in selves and bring a lot from inside.  Basically everything is in our inside - our fears, strengths, morals, ethics, crudity, savageness, godliness, rudeness or sweetness, pleasing or soothing attributes. We smile only when we want or when we are happy from inside or feel pleasure in that very discourse, idea or attribute we lie with. We cannot be forced by any one. We can keep mum; repress selves for a certain period or even for centuries. If it becomes habit to lose self confidence, fear of outside over power us. But in that situation also, whether our behavior repressed or not, fully coming out or not, we are always hiding something to outside what actually resides in us. Many a times even if we don’t express those repressed feeling and try to be good at face, but from inside we know that we are only acting and not behaving. But that is not natural expression but forced, well thought inside. Ideally our intellect, speech and action i.e. Mansa, Vachsa, karmana should be one.  Then there will not be any dilemma and action will be only what we think correct. 

But our thinking is also very limited and that too is shaped by many external forces. People always don’t take us seriously. Everybody is engrossed in self and acts in his own way but when in conscious state he is cautious in his expression. Our thinking is shaped by our environment, education, childhood experiences; own self-confidence, faith, religious teachings, general environment of society repressive or motivating, family background, economic status, trade or profession one is in or so. But how can be our thinking improved upon despite these factors. I think that only the education can bring positive changes. Besides, self-mediation and own Do’s or don’ts can also lead to some solace. Psychologists deal such problems and try to explain ways by which behavior can be modified to suit the present or better coming life by having known the past. I am not a psychologist but have read a few popular books e.g. ‘Road Less Travelled’ by Scot M Peck or ‘The Power of Your Sub-Conscious Mind’ by Dr. Joseph Murphy, and so on.

 

I am changing continuously, losing a little self every moment. I know people and their going from the world leaving living ones mute spectators. My general environment is not improving much and I am not much helping or fulfilling social obligations. I need some conscious feelings for my surroundings and contribute to some amelioration. Almost half the life is already passed and nothing great done in these years. Though there are some expressed traces of success but a lot is yet to be done. I had a lot of friends but I seldom make call to them. They call on phones occasionally but not much continuance. I have never told or not successful in convincing poor relatives, old friends, brethren how to improve their financial or intellectual status.  So the ground is flat and any design can be fitted in but I don’t have ingenuity, courage to pick up a pencil, colours and start drawing.

So let us try to consciously involve in our worthy affairs.

Pawan Kumar,
16^th August’2014 Time 13:48 P.M.
(From My Dairy dated 17.07.2011 Time 09:18 AM)