Meditations

Meditations

Early morning, I am awakened since last 45 minutes

Something mysterious has risen from deep slumber.

Though not much anxiety yet mental agitation is abound,

Thought it better to stay with self than to just roll in bed.

How can one sleep when there is so much to do,

and keep self-aloof in myriads of requirements ?

When darkness is all-around, apparent is not light,

Heart’s lights are off and nothing is in sight.

When efforts are required to light up the scene,

and keep some illuminations to self-reveal.

Great souls have definitely tried self-journey

It is like to centre of Earth, or jetting beyond gravity.

Or like diving to the Mariana trench,

and bearing heavy ocean weight of 11 Km depth.

I don’t have apparatus & apparels for such diving,

Neither know to swim, nor deep breaths for surviving.

No propellers to overcome the great force,

Quite weak, ill prepared & just have idea glimpse.

Knowledge of vehicle & equipment, and technology to adopt

Proper plan to follow & specialist’s support.

Strongly require team’s leader & fuel for engine,

and proper climate, test-checkups, and high dreams.

Me a small miniscule & just embroiled in jilt

Require body’s preparations, removing all guilt.

Toughness & discipline strict are moment’s turquoise,

and covering all troubles by force of purpose.

Life’s ways are myriads, vast mountains to fathom,

Hurdles are enormous, and no goal is apparent.

Directions are blurred & no light indications glare

Just rolling / waving in motion as fluff in air.

Me brought into world by some elements combined,

They in selves are very mortal & liable to be withered.

All are like camphor and fluff of the cotton,

Very momentary, spontaneous & quite bottom.

Whole universe is composed of atoms & molecules,

So am I am of few billion cells & nerves.

They in selves are made of hydrogen, carbon, oxygen,

and some phosphorus, calcium, magnesium, or nitrogen.

They are everywhere, and I am from only them,

No difference is there as grown from cosmos same.

Everything is of me & me of every one,

Nothing is different and only sameness is there.

Yes some solace I find in soul & solitude,

Quite individual and self-surrounded.

Though outside sensations are a bit there

They just hint I am also part of whole here.

Otherwise in those moments, I am closeted in self,

To understand deepest mysteries of life & trials for help.

Life has a great term speaking eternity & continuance

Much beyond self, birth & death and daily nuance.

Life means all which exist all around

Nothing is foreign & all things are own.

That feeling takes away to far ages of fore

and past, future are its parts, present in its core.

Me is everything and everything is me

Nothing is distant much, just seek thee.

Everything is a little bit of me & gives smile

I am that you and you are me as well.

No distinction in eyes but revelation is must

Insight is necessary to check self’s aloofness.

Loathness & insensivities need good bashing,

Bringing mental alertness to keep in bosom.

That feeling of life and cry for mortification

Strong urge for pace with breath & imparting life.

When every moment finds some legacy & dignity

Some essence, worthiness, exactness & defining.

When minds like Seneca & Aurelius become friends,

and Epictus, Kant, Sopenheur, Goethe show you way.

When Patanjali teaches deep secrets of life,

and some ways to bring some discipline in self.

Stalwarts’ company is must for their glimpses.

Experiences did they are precious treasures.

We ordinary ones become their followers,

and take some lessons to uncover our hidden.

Questions & eagerness, zeal, ecstasy, curiosity are must

Only then path is possible to transcend.

Work is so much to do, sitting is suicidal

Awake, awake and know also other worlds.

Deep meditations & concentrations have power enormous,

Though haven’t experienced that though will at times.

If I start at one point that scatters to a lot,

Just find roaming quite worthless and result-less.

What should I meditate and how to do that,

Many lessons, some teachers claim to know.

Neither tried those books, nor twilights of knowledge,

Just remained devoid of direction, purpose & efficiency.

The word ‘power’ commands strength, effectiveness & efficiency

Knowledge, zeal, smile, confidence & inter-connections.

Enormous sensation of self with equanimity with blessed,

Using every bit of life in that concentrated state.

‘Meditations’ by Aurelius is a great book recommended,

Not read much though have opened some chapters.

But they are not just mind’s ramblings like mine,

They pick life’s essentials and speak true minds.

Just like confused souls, not knowing what to write,

How & what to choose to meditate and pronounce bright.

Some education can be if trial made with self,

What ways can be best to beautify the world?

With pen in hand, there should be no limits,

Paper is in plenty, enthusiasm is necessary blood.

When time permits to continue thought,

and like Jaishankar Prasad’s Kamayani erupts from that.

When Shakespeare comes & Kant becomes partner,

I become humble to take support of greater.

Like Kabir, Ravidas, Nanak, I also realize some salvation

Like Upanishad’s pupil, I vie some fine queries,

and find some teacher to reveal those mysteries.

When mind’s locks are opened & all interior in sight,

Deep resources hidden so far impart their glimpses.

When Minerva bestows her blessings for noble mind

Sincerity & discipline come with excellence in fold.

When inner’s diamonds are valued more than world treasures,

Those priceless, beautiful, shining beauties are with always.

When my conduct be noble and shed vices of enmity,

Jealously, hatred, foul discussion, aloofness & cruelty.

When I am able to cherish those noble Christian values,

Kindness, humility, righteous, equanimity, truthful,

Grateful, disciplined, self-faith, faithful, helpful,

and nature’s forces, piety, good company or so supports.

I remain steadfast in my created developed self,

which still needs groom, grind and polish.

Discipline both physical & mental should find space,

and never waver in the somber, dark world.

Expressions turn likeable and me supportive,

Good values and practice become daily life.

Churn best from self and shape & sharpen thoughts

Pen become worthy to create some really good.

This diary becomes rare jewel of priceless thoughts

Let that come from all clouds, tumults & tempests.

Because I am to rise from them only,

Then will find some place & time to own.

Pawan Kumar,

5^th April’2015 Time 16:53 AN

(From my Dairy 03.09.2013 Time 5.27 Morning)