Of Reading and Conscious Feeling

Of Reading and Conscious Feeling

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Life is again starting on these pages on 5th October'1998 at time about 11:35 in the night. I daily think that I should write but  due  to lack of determination, schedule things go without being happened. Actually I find very less time from reading. On working days, it is the office and then home, some TV and some reading. On holidays, my time is spent on reading only which is mainly of books, and many a times even newspaper goes without fully being read. Reading is really very good bringing closer to things / people certainly in a  better way than we can perceive of our own. It acquaints us with persons of great minds, breaks all myths about things, does away all fears and makes more friendly with the environment. Over the time, I have tried to improve my reading material. Now I take more and more interest in books of many disciplines. It provides me a broad pyramidal knowledge base explaining things in a more conclusive way. 

How should I take things - I should not loose my patience all of sudden and also see the better side of aspects. My mind should be open and it should work like a sieve retaining only  the coarse advantageous material or essence and letting pass all the non-required stuff. Certainly such attitude shall bring me close to the persons of right attitudes. 

What is my aim in life - this is the biggest question today for me. Because the life I am passing has become a habitual type - attending office, reading, seeing TV, gossiping / passing time with my family, etc. All sort of happiness, sorrows, mental agonies, work / family tensions are part of my life now. It can be said that my life is of a typical household. But beyond this survival, what is my aim - this is to be pondered without which there cannot be any solution to life. Life is the biggest riddle that needs to be solved. 

Of many ordinary people's life, the mere sustenance is earning both ends meals. For some riches, life is just enjoying with their fortunes, and for many middle ones life is a mix of sorrows and some happiness. On individual level how do we live life is the parameter of our consciousness? Some people are more adapted to their habits and take their day's journey in a fixed pattern. But in this modern age, there is a  little left time for being bound in old rigid schedules. Life has become so much hectic and multi-dimensional that one hardly finds time to go as per fixed pattern. But even then there requires some solace to our lives. Perhaps our the loftiest goal can be to realize life in us. What is the consciousness, are we really able to know our lives and live as per our rules? Does the life exist beyond the seemingly material external world or is our consciousness a permanent type material? There are many religious books which try to present answer to this question but foremost is to realize solution in ourselves.

Pawan Kumar,

5th April, 2014 Time 23:55 Night

(From My Diary dated 5th October'1998)